Hehehehe...

Love it.

Quote

“The most important thing in life is your family. There are days you love them, and others you don’t. But, in the end, they’re the people you always come home to. Sometimes it’s the family you’re born into and sometimes it’s the one you make for yourself.”

- Sex and the City

Bored, bored, bored...

What is your favorite movie ever?
Oooh...that one is really hard. I think...ever ever ever? Can't say. Probably a four way tie between The Notebook, Coming to America, Full Metal Jacket, and Return to Oz. Yes, I'm a walking contradiction.

If you had an all expense paid trip anywhere you wanted to go, where would it be?
Italy. For sure. I'd love to spend a month there, drinking wine, seeing the palazzos, soaking up the culture, riding a vespa. Ciao.

How many tattoos do you have and what inspired them?
I have 5 tattoos. Actually, one is a cover up, so technically I have six. The sad part is, I only really LOVE two of them. I’ve got one on my foot of my initials and you can barely see it (I was young and dumb), one on my right ankle of my astrological sun sign – Virgo (self-explanatory), one on the back of my neck of a tribal that I quickly drew up (I found money in the parking lot of the tattoo parlor and decided that it was fate that I get a tattoo), I originally got my initials on my back when I was 18 and later decided that I didn’t like it, so I got it covered up with a purple lotus this past year and I adore it (the lotus is considered one of the most sacred and distinctive flowers in India. It represents human consciousness in that it germinates at the bottom of a pond in the mud and muck and raises above it all to flower above the water. The color purple is supposed to represent spiritual fulfillment and strength.), and my last tattoo is an ouroboros on my lower back that my sister and brother also have (to represent the cyclic nature of the universe, yin and yang, and family).

Would you rather hang out with Christopher Columbus or Aquaman, and why?
Lemme break it down for you. Both of them pretty much suck. Everyone used to think that Christopher Columbus was this great guy, and then we find out that he didn't even really discover America, and that he was kind of an asshole to boot. The Italians don't even want to claim him anymore. But there's still a big festival every year. I mean, any excuse to eat a bunch of food and drink grappa, right? To top it all off, he has his own day here in America. Complete madness…Then… there's Aquaman. Yeah, he's a comic book "superhero" but his powers are kinda sucky. Big deal. He's a good swimmer. In my opinion, he's a glorified mermaid. (Merman? Whatever.) However, he has a great body, and far be it for me to overlook a six-pack. (Of muscles, I mean. Or of beer. Whateva.) But what if he smells like a fish? Hmm.So my answer is... Aquaman. But only if it's Vincent Chase (aka Adrian Grenier) from Entourage.

What's one totally random goal that you have, and why?
That is an exceptional question. I have lots of goals. I mean, I’m sure that most people do. We set little ones for ourselves every day. But a random one...well...I guess it would be to go to Prince Edward Island in Canada and see where they filmed Anne of Green Gables. Because I love those books, and when I was younger I kind of wanted to BE Anne. (You know, minus the whole orphaned as a pre-teen thing. And the part where she dyes her hair green and has to chop it all off.)

What outfit do you feel most confident in and why?
I think most days it just depends on my mood. Usually, I wear a lot of black. So I will say probably this great black tunic-y shirt I have that shows just the right amount of cleavage, my favorite worn-in jeans, and my white and black leather bow-tie peep-toe stilettos.

What do you do when you think you are totally alone that you worry a homeless Japanese woman living in your closet might see you do?
This question kinda freaked me out. It made me want to go home and check all the closets. Because quite frankly, while I'm not so worried about a homeless Japanese woman lurking about, you can never be so sure about someone else. Like Ashton Kutcher waiting to punk me, or something. Actually, that would be rad. I'd be all "Hey what's up Ashton?" and he'd be like "Not much, you?" and I'd be like "Eh, the usual. How's Demi? Ready for Social Security yet?" and he'd be all "That's kinda mean, yet funny and true!" and I'd be like "Yeah, I know. So, you're cute, let's be friends" and he'd be like "Okay, cool. Demi's harshing my mellow anyway." and I'd be like "Dude, old people do that to you!" and then we'd go grab a beer at Murphy’s. But… if Ashton wasn't in my closet, and it was some weird homeless Japanese woman? I'd be worried that she might see me change my underwear three times before I decided on a pair I wanted to wear. Yes, I do that sometimes. Don't ask me why.

If you could live anywhere and had unlimited funds to do so where would you live?
Honestly, I would probably live exactly where I do. I love Memphis. Then again, I might like to try out Seattle. It’s always appealed to me for some reason.

Why ARE you so fabulous?
Ahh...the age-old question. Clearly. I think fabulous is a state of mind. I generally know what I want and I am not afraid of being myself. I am confident, but not conceited. I like extravagance and to buy things, but I'll also drink beer and eat pretzels while watching the game. I don't like to get dirty but I will work up a sweat dancing my ass off or running. I am independent and fiercely loyal. I can cook and I can bake. I don't like to clean but I can crochet. It's very difficult for me to apologize or accept a compliment. I try to be exactly who I am, all the time, no matter what. Because being true to yourself is fabulous.

What's your biggest regret, and how would you do it over if you could?
I have no regrets. I think everything happens the way it's supposed to. Most people would probably say that they would erase many of the disasters that have dotted my past like mini, glaring Hiroshimas, but I don't regret a thing. Looking back clouds your vision. It distorts memories, and rose-colored glasses are a bitch. I can't say I would change anything because I did what I thought I had to do. Hindsight isn't fair. It makes you doubt yourself.

Do you like ice cream? And if so, what flavor?
Ummm... who doesn't? I like butter pecan and strawberry. (Not together… that would be gross.)

Why is English so difficult?

 

 

Sent to you by Heather via Google Reader:

 

 

Why is English so difficult?

via SPARKLING AND DAZZLING! on 8/15/09

cherrylolita:

Some reasons to be grateful if you grew up speaking English:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?


Let's face it - English is a crazy language. 

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. 
English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. 
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. 
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. 
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? 
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? 
One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?  
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? 
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? 
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. 
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? 
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? 
Have noses that run and feet that smell? 
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on. 
English was invented by people, across the ages, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

 

 

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Weddings...

DSCF7846
Originally uploaded by andresen.heather

The only good thing about them is the open bar. Well, that and you know... two people you care about being able to spend the rest of their lives together in marital bliss. There's that too.

(This pic was taken at a friend's wedding shower this past Friday.)

Bacon Cake

A tribute...
Originally uploaded by andresen.heather

Lyn and I have been talking about this cake for a minute and I actually had all the ingredients to make it for once, so I did. (Sorry, Lyn!) Here's the recipe I used if you're brave enough (or love bacon as much as Lyn & I do) to make it!

Brown Sugar Chocolate Cake:

4 ounces semisweet chocolate, separated
2 cups cake flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/8 teaspoon salt
8 ounces unsalted butter at room temperature
1 pound dark brown sugar
3 large eggs
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup cold milk

In the top of a small double boiler over low heat, melt four ounces of the chocolate; set aside to cool.

Sift the flour with the baking soda and the salt then set aside. In a large mixing bowl with an electric mixer, cream the butter with the brown sugar until light and fluffy. Add the eggs, one at a time, scraping the bowl frequently. Beat in the melted chocolate. Mix one teaspoon of the vanilla with the milk, and add the sifted dry ingredients alternately to the batter with the milk, beginning and ending with the dry ingredients. Beat only long enough to make the batter smooth.

Turn the batter into 2 greased and floured 9-inch pans. Bake at 350° for one hour. A toothpick stuck into the center of the cake should come out with just a few crumbs clinging to it. Cool the cake on a wire rack for 15 minutes. Loosen the edges and invert onto another rack to cool completely.

Dark Chocolate Butter Cream Icing:
2 2/3 c. confectioners' sugar
3/4 c. unsweetened cocoa
6 tbsp. butter
5-6 tbsp. milk
1 tsp. vanilla

Combine confectioners' sugar and cocoa in a small bowl. Cream butter with 1/2 cup of the cocoa mixture in a small bowl. Alternately add remaining cocoa mixture and milk; beat to spreading consistency. Stir in vanilla.

If you want the frosting to have a glazed appearance, mix in 1 tablespoon of corn syrup.

I used maple cured bacon to go with the brown sugar taste in the cake. Hope you like it! (Or are brave enough to try it, rather...) - H.

I Think...

It's time to go sit in the sunshine.

I Am...

• more tired than I should be.

• likeable, but only before I start overthinking things and detaching myself from what's happening.
• a bitch, but only as a defense mechanism.
• seeking something more.
• often finding that something more in sex, but the feeling is fleeting, as I'm sure you've discovered.
• afraid I'll never really be loved like I want to be loved.
• naive and blind to when I'm loved in general until it is too late.
• a closeted superstitious individual.
• a closeted optimist.
• more self-flagellating than most people would think I am.
• a self-saboteur. Egregiously so.
• aware that it's all illusory.
• able to do a lot when I stand to one side and allow it to happen naturally.
• living an underachieving existence.
• wishing that life were simple instead of filled with a myriad of facets.
• more loyal than one might suspect.
• listening to Delta Spirit.
• a sucker for a sense of humor and a soulfully goofy smile.
• in love with life. It's an unrequited love.
• marked by a complete lack of arrogance.
• terrified of moths.
• worried that the moment I start "making it," the world will end or I will be severely maimed and unable to enjoy "it."
• confused as to why nine seemingly intelligent professionals don't know the meaning of the word acquiescence.
• annoyed by the fact that I still think about him on occasion.
• perspicacious.
• one that misses my Siamese's perfervid outbursts.
• yearning.

Just so we're clear...

He is one of the sexiest men alive. That will be all.

My Niece Asked Me to Do This...

For Paige.

A
-Available: Perpetually.
-Age: 25
-Animal: Alligator!

B
-Beer: Red Stripe, Leinenkugel’s, Guinness, etc.
-Birthday: September 9
-Best Friends: Yo. Daddy.
-Body Part on the Opposite Sex: Hands, Eyes, Smile
-Best Feeling in the World: Driving with the music too loud, windows down, and open road.
-Been in love: Yes
-Believe in Santa: What’s not to believe in? He’s a fat guy that likes cookie. That’s believable, right?

C
-Color: Lime green
-Continent to Visit: Australia

D
-Day or Night: I like both. They have their own little places in my heart. I don’t pick favorites.
-Dancing in the Rain: Love it.

E
-Eyes: I have them… they’re blue, if that’s what you’re asking…
-Everyone’s got:
-Ever failed a class?: Negative, Sparky.

F
-First thoughts waking up: Just… five… more… minu… ZZZZZZ.
-Food: Sushi, sucka! I loves me some Dragon Roll… Eel sauce… Mmmm…
-Fears: Being in the dark alone, not being successful, that my apt will catch on fire while I’m in it

G
-Goals: Live my life. That’s all I can do.
-Get along with your parents?: I get along with my father and stepmother. My mother passed away last year.

H
-Hair: Red
-Height: 5’3”
-Happy: yes
-Holiday: Halloween, St. Patrick’s Day

I
-Ice Cream: Butter Pecan or Strawberry
-Instrument: I played Bb clarinet, bass clarinet, and contra bass clarinet in high school and college. Piano when I was younger. Can I play any of them now? Who knows?

J
-Jewelry: The ring I received as a “Senior gift” from the Highlander Social Club when I graduated from the W, ring I got in NOLA with a celtic cross cut out in the top
-Job: Distributor for Slumber Parties, Inc. and an Office Manager for the Rehab Dept. @ Methodist South Hospital

K
-Kids: None currently that I’m aware of…
-Kickboxing or karate: Neither.
-Keep a journal: Yes, although lately I haven’t been writing or drawing in it. (It’s really a sketchbook. I write in it sometimes or draw. Depends on my mood…)

L
-Love: My family, friends, & my dog.
-Laughed so hard you cried: Sunday when I pointed out to KB that she had inadvertently showed her no-no bits to a roomful of our guy friends.

M
-Movies: Wizard of Oz, Return to Oz, Boondock Saints, Fight Club, Adam & Steve, Circus, Tomcats, The Happiest Millionaire… I’ve got too many to name.
-McDonald’s or BK: BK FTW

N
-Number: 9

O
-One wish: That my idiot boss would go away.

P
-Perfect Pizza: Stuffed pizza from Little Italy with pepperoni, jalapenos, & feta cheese
-Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi all the way

Q
-Quail: QUAILMAN! (If you don’t know what that’s from, you deserve to die.)

R
-Reason to cry: Oh, gah. Don’t get me started. Last week was the crying week.
-Reality TV: ROCKS. I’m addicted to celebreality. >.>
-Radio Station: I generally listen to CDs in the car, my iPod or iTunes at home, and http://www.playlist.com/ at work. :\
-Roll your tongue in a circle: I’m always amazed when people can’t do that…

S
-Song: I’m currently listening to Sunshine Highway [x] Dropkick Murphys
-Shoe size: 7 ½ to 8
-Salad Dressing: Ranch
-Sushi: Yes, please.
-Skinny dipped?: >.> No comment.
-In the shower: I sing. Loudly.
-Strawberries or blueberries: Strawberries!

T
-Tattoos: 4
-Time for bed: Whenever I go. Lately, it’s been 9-ish. :\
-Thunderstorms. Scary or Exciting: Both.

U
-Unpredictable: Life

V
-Vacation spot(s): Beach

W
-Weakness: Sunglasses. Shoes. Cute men. Sunglasses. Tattoos. Sunglasses. Did I mention sunglasses?
-Which one of your friends acts the most like you?: I’m pretty much the original. Nobody else like me.
-Who makes you laugh the most?: I laugh with all of my friends. Why else would I keep them around? ^.^
-Worst feeling?: Alone
-Wanted to be a model?: Hahahahahhaa. No.
-Worst weather: Freezing. Cold. Rain.

X
-X-rays: Arm, wrist, hand, feet, legs, head, stomach, other arm, knee, other knee, chest. (I’m a sickly urchin.)

Y
-Year of birth: I’m an 80s kid. I’ll leave it at that.

Z
-Zoo animal: Yo momma! Oooooh!